Breathing Authentically: Leadership through a Principled Leadership Lens

Leadership is often portrayed as strength, certainty, and confidence.

But real leadership? I believe it begins with identity. Understanding who you are and who you want to be. Aligning your core values with your leadership approach - that's the bones for great leadership!

A few years back at the South Island Women’s Symposium in Twizel, I shared a deeply personal journey, one that started with a conundrum. Merriam-Webster defines conundrum as “an intricate and difficult problem.”

Mine was this:

I am a committed Christian woman.

I love fiercely.

I’m scared of rejection.

I fear failure.

I am a people pleaser.

And honesty, respect, and dignity matter deeply to me.

So here was my question:

How do I reconcile who I am with who I want to be?

How do I become the best version of myself as a leader?

Because the truth was, who I was at work didn’t always match who I was at home, in my community, or in my faith life. That disconnect mattered. So I did what many leaders do when faced with discomfort: I went searching. I spent six years researching leadership.

What I discovered changed everything.

I discovered that Leadership is about potential - who you are at your very core.

At its core, leadership isn’t about titles or authority. It’s about responsibility.

Leadership, as described by Brene Brown, is “anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and has the courage to develop that potential.”

And here’s what I know to be true:

Everyone needs to feel loved.

Positivity breeds love.

Honesty breeds trust.

Trust breeds relationship.

Humility is greater than pride.

So, how does identity factor into this?

Leadership is inseparable from identity.

Ever think about the identity conundrum of a superhero? At their core, what is their identity? Who are they? What is the difference between Superman and Clark Kent | Spiderman and Peter Parker?

Who are YOU when no one is watching?

I’ve learned that being authentic isn’t simply “being yourself.” It’s being grounded in yourself, in the values that guide your choices, especially when it’s uncomfortable. Authenticity requires remaining true to your core values, identity, and emotions. It means showing up whole. And this leads to becoming more principled. Being principled requires a deep dive into "self". And that self relies on five pillars.

A Principled leadership approach rests on five pillars:

• Identity & Ego

• Spirituality (Humility)

• Love (Care and Service)

• Integrity (Honesty & Trust)

• Vulnerability & Courage

What that really looks like:

Identity: Beyond the Self

Identity isn’t just personal, it’s relational. It’s a sense of self connected to others, to community, culture, and the wider world. It’s responding morally and ethically from a place bigger than ego.

And Ego is the quiet saboteur of Leadership.

Bell hooks, renowned spiritual leadership guru, shared, “To truly serve, we must empty ourselves enough to make space for others”. Her words changed my leadership lens.

When leaders let go of ego, they gain clarity.

When they choose humility, they gain trust.

And... Integrity is where Trust is Born

Honesty is not optional.

Integrity builds authentic relationships, and authentic relationships create trust. Without trust, leadership collapses.

People don’t follow perfection; they follow consistency.

Love as a Leadership Practice

Love in leadership isn’t sentimental.

It’s a decision.

It’s choosing, freely and intentionally, to act for the good of another.

True leadership love creates environments built on respect, dignity, and value. It means putting yourself second so others can grow first. It means genuinely wanting people to be great, even when that costs you something.

The Courage to Be Vulnerable

Vulnerability is not weakness.

It is the gateway to connection.

When leaders allow themselves to be open and honest, to depend on others and share fully they create cultures where people feel safe to be real, take risks, and grow.

Integrating Authentic Leadership

Authentic leadership always involves choice:

• To choose honesty.

• To choose courage.

• To choose dignity.

• To choose people.

Principled leadership enables authenticity.

It starts with the individual. It asks us to:

• Commit to respecting the dignity of every person, in every moment

• Let that belief shape every decision

• Practice putting others first

• Reconcile who we are with who we want to be — consistently

• Show up the same at work, at home, and in community

• Have the courage to be ourselves

• Create balance in our own lives and for those around us

When we do this, we don’t just lead.

We unleash potential.

A Moment of Reflection

Think of the last time you felt like the best version of yourself.

What happened?

Where were you?

How did you feel?

Did you do anything differently?

That version of you already exists.

Principled leadership is simply the daily practice of choosing that person ... again and again.

This blog is adapted from “Breathing Authentically Through Principled Leadership,” presented at the South Island Women’s Symposium, Twizel