Stay in your Lane!

Before you read any further, I want to share this ... today’s reflection comes from a place of love, not judgment. It isn’t meant to be preachy or finger-pointing, because to be completely honest, I’m writing this as much for myself as for anyone else. What I am about to share is something I need to be aware of, to practice, and to return to often. I get it wrong. Regularly. But awareness is where growth starts. Right?!?

I’m not sure where I first heard the phrase stay in your lane, maybe in a movie, tossed out casually in conversation, but it landed, and it stuck. The more I sit with it, the more it feels like one of those deceptively simple ideas that carries both weight and wisdom.

There are positive and negative associations with the phrase, of course. On the surface, it can sound dismissive or limiting. But at its core, stay in your lane is about awareness, responsibility, and restraint, about knowing where you belong in a given moment and honouring that boundary.

Think about driving. When you’re moving down a highway, your safety and the safety of everyone around you depends on staying on your side of the road. You don’t drift into another lane unless there’s a clear reason and it’s safe to do so. If you do, the consequences can be immediate and catastrophic.

That reality became painfully real for my husband and me recently. We were driving on a major state highway with a 100 km speed limit, following a ute in the passing lane as we were both overtaking a large truck. Without warning, the ute slammed on its brakes and eventually came to a complete stop. In the middle of the passing lane. While the truck beside us continued barreling forward at highway speed.

Why did the ute stop?

To let a family of ducks cross the road.

Honestly.

While I appreciate compassion for animals, the decision put every driver around him in danger. We had nowhere to go. Oncoming traffic blocked us from moving right. The left lane was chaos, brakes screeching, with a van swerving to avoid a pile-up. Our only option was to stay in our lane and deal with the consequences of someone else’s decision.

We were shaken. Angry. Grateful we walked away unharmed. And deeply aware of how one person leaving their lane, literally, forced everyone else to absorb the risk.

That experience expanded my understanding of the phrase in a way I hadn’t fully grasped before.

Because every single day, we face similar moments, not on highways, but in our lives. In our relationships. In conversations. In disagreements. In what we choose to say, how much we say, and whether what we’re offering is actually being asked for.

How often do we drift out of our lane? Into someone else's lane?

We do it when we over-explain instead of answering simply. When we give advice that wasn’t requested. When we escalate a conversation that could have remained calm. When we insert our opinions into situations that aren’t ours to manage.

Imagine a simple scenario. Someone asks, “Do you have any bananas?”

A response that stays in its lane sounds like: Yes, I do.

But how often do we add more? We explain why we always have bananas, their health benefits, our shopping habits, maybe even a mini lecture on nutrition. Suddenly, a straightforward question becomes a soapbox.

The extra information wasn’t wrong, but it wasn’t required.

Now zoom out. From simple exchanges to complex, emotionally charged situations, the same question applies: Is my response needed, wanted, or helpful? Am I contributing clarity, or adding noise?

I often say ignorance is bliss… until it isn’t. Because once you know, you know. You can’t unsee it. And once you become aware that staying in your lane can prevent unnecessary conflict, misunderstanding, or harm, you’re responsible for that awareness.

So maybe the practice is this: when you feel the urge to jump in, correct, explain, fix, or escalate, pause. Ask yourself whether this is truly your lane.

What’s the worst that could happen if you don’t say the extra thing?

What might improve if you don’t?

Staying in your lane doesn’t mean being silent or disengaged. It means being intentional.

It means recognizing when your voice adds value, and when restraint is the more powerful choice.

Imagine our homes, our communities, even the broader world, if more of us practiced this.

So the next time you’re tempted to react, remember the highway.

Stop. Reflect. Evaluate… and, Respond…if necessary